R-E-S-P-E-C-T - What Our Husbands Desire and Need

Respect. That's what our men want. That's according to the various marriage books I've read over the last eleven years since I myself got hitched and some insight from my own wonderful hubby, himself. You know, I'm the type of gal that likes to be prepared when I'm getting myself into something!


Some women get really hung up on the whole concept of "submitting" to their husbands. The Bible does say in multiple places that we wives are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord, but many see this as submitting to a status of inferiority. Not so, ladies, not so.

So what exactly is Biblical submission? Many modern-day feminists believe that Biblical submission equates to mousy, timid women who are lorded over by their order-barking, controlling husbands. That, my friends, is not what God had in mind when He commanded for us to be submissive to our husbands.



Submission is a matter of showing respect to our husbands. It's a matter of laying aside our selfish desires to take into consideration the needs of our husbands. It's a matter of living a life of completing our husbands. You see, we are not inferior at all; God made us to complement and strengthen our husbands. We, when living in submission, are acting as a cornerstone to our husband.

We are to submit to our husbands under all circumstances except when/if he is asking us to do something that goes against the Lord's commands. God does not expect nor accept us to submit if it means we would be participating in sinful activity.

Submission is not easy, no-sir-ee. It's flat-out hard, especially when we women have been subconsciously indoctrinated with independent feminism. And it's hard because we're naturally selfish creatures of the flesh.

Submission takes God-strength. It takes a laying down of our own wants and desires to do as we're commanded in the Holy Word. Biblical submission to our husbands is totally contrary to our flesh, especially if our husbands are unsaved.

Speaking of that, do we get off scotch-free if our husbands are not saved? Sorry, but no. Of course, submitting to a man who does not understand the whole concept of Biblical submission and Biblical love makes the wife's responsibility a whole lot more difficult. And, admittedly, I don't have a lot of personal knowledge to offer on this one.



However, I do know that whether our husbands are saved or not, we are to look to Jesus as a model of submission. Jesus submitted to His Father's will. Was God's will to provide Jesus as the perfect and ultimate sacrifice for mankind an easy one for Christ to walk? Goodness no! How would you do if you were asked to give yourself up to torture and the worst pain imaginable for someone else's sake? For someone who has despised you, at that? I'd want to run the other way!

But, ladies, look at this wonderful, encouraging verse from the Word: In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 1 Pet 3.1-2

St. Francis of Assisi was the one that said to "preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary use words." Couldn't we apply that to Biblical submission?



Ladies, I desire to be the helpmeet and wife to my husband that God designed me to be. I know that the journey to that woman is progressive and challenging, but I want what God desires for me. And God desires only the best for my life. He desires that which will produce fruit. And, so, if God commands submission to our husbands, then that is what He deems best for our lives.

And I've personally noticed that when I am living in submission to my hubby and trying to meet his needs, he is much less stressed and more joyful. When he feels respected and loved, he responds in a very loving and caring manner. Life is less stressful for him because he knows that he is held in high esteem by me and no matter what is going on out in the world, he is respected and loved here at home.

In the next few days or so, I'd like, Lord-willing, to delve into this subject of submission and being our husband's helpmeet a little bit more. This is something I've been actively researching and praying for wisdom for as it's something that most churches never really teach the young women about.

In the meantime, here are some resources that I have personally read/listened to and have found helpful...




Here's a great one that I have that delves into the subject of submitting to an unsaved husband. It also discusses Biblical submission to a saved husband as well.

This is one that I haven't read yet, but it is on my wishlist...



I'm also about half-way through the CD series called She Shall Be Called Woman by Victoria Botkin. I have found this to be full of challenging and practical information. It can be viewed and purchased through Vision Forum.


Have a blessed day!