Sunday, May 22, 2011

Greeting Our Husband When He Returns Home...

As most of you probably know, I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mama. Sometimes my days are very frustrating. Sometimes (especially at that certain time of the month) my patience can be almost non-existent and dealing with the frustrating and annoying moments of mothering can be really difficult for me.

Now I don't think that you have to be a stay-at-home mom or a homeschooling mom or even a mom at all to struggle with what I'm about to discuss, so listen up!

When your husband walks through the door of your home at the end of his work day, how is he greeted?

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Do you immediately unload all of your issues and problems and frustrations from your day? Do you start rattling off what you need done around the house? Do you hand him the kids and run out the door for a breath of fresh air and quiet?

Or do you greet him at the door with a smile, making him feel welcome? Do you inquire about his day? Do you make him know that you are happy to see him home, not because you need a break but because his presence in your home really is something you enjoy?

Admittedly, the first scenario is what was typical in our home several years back, especially in the early stages of raising our children. Brad would walk in the door, and I would unload all the negative aspects of my day on him.

Over time, as I matured as a wife and began to get a better grip on my God-designed calling as a wife I realized how negatively this impacted my husband. Why would he even want to come home after a day of work only to be greeted by a grumbling, complaining, negative wife?

And so now I really do strive to greet him with a smile and affirm to him that I am genuinely happy that he is home. Because, honestly, I am. I love my husband very much, and I genuinely love to have him home. Most days he gets a "hi sweetie", a kiss, and help to unloading his arms of whatever he's carried into the house.

A few other things I do ~

1. I try to make myself look more presentable before he gets home. Most days I try to do this in the morning right after showering, but there are days when I don't even make it into the shower! So even if I haven't showered yet, I do try to quickly fix my hair, put on a little lip gloss and make sure I look half-decent. Call me old-fashioned or crazy. That's okay, that really doesn't bother me. I don't do this because Brad makes me feel like I have to, I do it because I really do care about how I present myself to my husband, even after eleven years of marriage.

2. I also try to clean up some of the messes that inevitably get spread throughout the house during the day. I know how clutter affects my ability to relax, and I also know that my husband is the same way, so I try to be sensitive to this. But I want you all to know that my home is by NO MEANS impeccable! My house is very lived-in, especially since my children are homeschooled and at home all day. However, the kids and I do try to "tidy-up" a bit before Brad's arrival.

3. Since Brad gets home right at dinnertime, most days I have the table set and dinner ready to be put on the table when he arrives home or at least pretty close to that. I know that he likes to get dinner done early because 1. he's usually pretty hungry and 2. eating an early dinner frees up more time in the evening for him to spend with the kids or do tasks around the house. Again, I claim no perfection in this area either, and there are nights when dinner isn't even in the oven let alone on the table when he arrives home, but I do my best.

4. I try to remind the kids to behave and to be settled when daddy returns home. I remind them that he has spent all day working hard to provide for our family. This is probably the area that is the most difficult to follow through with simply because our children are children and are still in the process of learning respect. There are sibling battles. There are complaints and grumbles. There are picky eaters. Etc., etc., etc. I do not have perfect children. I will never have perfect children. But we do strive to raise our children up "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." And this includes teaching them to respect others.

I have really enjoyed writing this series on being a godly wife. Just a little disclaimer, though, I don't want you all to have the wrong impression that I've got all this down-pat, because I surely do not. I mess up often. There are times I open my big, opinionated mouth and then immediately regret I did. I am not perfect in the least, but I am progressing. And as long as we are desiring to be godly wives and then actually trying to be godly wives, that counts for a lot and is pleasing to God.

And we must not forget the most important aspect when in comes to being successful as a wife. We must commit ourselves to the Lord. Each day. And even more than that, each moment. We must pray to God and ask for the strength and the wisdom and insight to be the wife that He has called us to be. Ladies, God will answer these kind of unselfish prayers because being a godly wife is part of God's Will for our lives.

My next post will be addressing some general ways that we can affirm our husbands and make them know that they are loved. I'm in the process of compiling my list and will post it as soon as it's completed.

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I pray that God would bless each and every one of you precious women. I pray that He would work mightily in your marriages and in the hearts of each one of you. I also pray that He would work mightily in the hearts of each of your husbands, moving them to be mighty men of God no matter where they currently stand. I pray for strength for you all to be able to serve your husband the way Christ served us - unselfishly and with much love and grace.

Have a most blessed Monday!


Heather said...

Very true & wise advice. I hate when I realize my sour mood rubbed off on my husband after he gets home from work. It doesn't do either of us any good - OR the kids, too.

Your post reminds me of this quote I like, "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." - Martin Luther

Monica said...

This is a great post! It goes right along with the book by Elizabeth George "A Woman After God's Own Heart". I sent my copy to a family member but I used to use it as a constant companion tool. Helped to to keep all these things in order (hubby before anything else when he is hom).

viridiana montes said...

Hi, do you happen to have a blog on how to control our big, opinionated mouth??? I have noticed this has bringed me alot of arguments in my marriage and i try to control it but its hard. I would love help on this subject. Thanks.