2. Leave him little notes expressing your love and appreciation for him. Places to hide these little love notes are in his lunch, on his pillow, on his mirror to find in the morning, and on the windshield of his vehicle.
3. Tell him how much you appreciate him and the contributions he makes to the family.
4. Give him a spontaneous shoulder rub or full back massage.
5. Find ways to help lessen his workload at home. This would include doing tasks that he would normally do ~ washing the cars, taking out garbage, mowing the lawn.
6. Wake up with him in the morning and make his breakfast and coffee. This is one of the biggest things that Brad tells me he appreciates me doing for him. Something as simple as me making him his daily morning oatmeal speaks a lot to him of how much I care for him.
7. Greet your husband with gratitude and love first thing in the morning. Make him feel confident in your love for him from the start each day; it will keep him confident throughout the day.
8. Praise your husband to others, both in his presence and his absence
9. Buy him something small to let him know you're thinking about him. I'm not talking about breaking the budget. Pick him up his favorite candy bar or a magazine he enjoys reading and give it to him when he gets home from work or tuck it into his lunch or briefcase to be surprised when he finds it!
10. Make him his favorite meal. And serve it by candlelight. :)
11. Encourage him. This world has a way of beating our husbands down; it's rough out there! What ways can you encourage him? What affirming words can you speak to him to build him up and make him feel good about himself? Tell him how hard of a worker he is. Tell him how intelligent you think he is. Tell him how much you appreciate his devotion to his family.
12. Tell him that you are proud of him. We so often take for granted how speaking positive, confidence-building words can really encourage our husbands to be everything God created them to be. What about your husband are you proud of? Now go tell him!
13. Let go of the small stuff. When you're stewing over something, really think to yourself whether or not this is a "hill you're willing to die on" (and possibly cause great dissension in your marriage over.) If it's not, then be mature and dump the matter.
14. Show interest in his hobbies and allow him to have space to participate in them. Our men need time to decompress as well.
15. Focus on what he's doing right rather than the areas that he is weak in. Don't we all have our weaknesses? How would we as wives feel if our husbands were constantly pointing out our negative aspects and never affirming us? It would make us feel extremely discouraged and overwhelmed and angry. So why should we do that to our husbands? Do to others as you would have them do to you!
16. Give him time to unwind after returning home from work. As previously discussed, don't dump your day's problems and concerns on your husband the moment he steps over the threshold.
17. Compliment him often. Don't you like a compliment? Especially from your husband? Then why not do the same to him?
18. Don't overcommit yourself in other areas of your life. If you're so busy that you have no time to spend with your husband then you need to reprioritize and clear your schedule of some things. Activities are not more important than your relationship with your husband. Remember - God, Husband, Children, Family, Friends in that order. Do not give busy activities priority over time spent with your husband or your marriage will suffer. You can't have a good marriage if you can't devote the time to it.
19. Find ways to show him you need him. Our men love to know that there is an actual need for them in the home. Even if it's as simple as opening a jar of sauce that we just don't quite have the muscles to open. Or it could be asking his advice on a matter in your personal life.
20. Admit your mistakes. Don't try to pass the blame. Own up to your actions and ask for forgiveness.
21. Text him a love message.
22. Send him an email or e-card at work. What a pleasant surprise it would be for him to open his email and find a personal email from his wife in his inbox!
23. Buy him a romantic card or, better yet, take the time to write him a heartfelt love letter.
24. Take icy cold drinks out to him in the summer when he's working outside.
25. Let him be the man of the house. Trust his judgment and honor his decisions.
26. Tell him you're sorry when you've wronged him. Swallow that pride.
27. Resolve conflict quickly. Be mature enough to break the silent treatment. And really try hard not to go to bed fighting. Don't permit anger to nestle into the marriage bed.
29. Don't contradict him in front of others.
30. Scratch "I love you" into his bar of soap.
31. Pamper him when he's sick.
32. Don't compare him. Comparing our husbands to other men is a dangerous and destructive practice. There is no good that comes out of this. Just don't do it. Not even mentally. It will only cause discontentment.
33. Greet him at the door when he returns from work with a smile and kiss.
34. Defend him to those who talk disrespectfully about him.
35. Let him know that you're proud of him. And give him specifics too. Your husband will appreciate you telling him the things that you are specifically proud of him for.
36. Tell him three things that you specifically appreciate about him.
37. Honor him in front of the children. Don't argue with him or question him in front of your children. This indirectly teaches them that if you can disrespect and question their father, then they can too. If you do need to question him or disagree with him, do it respectfully and in private.
38. Initiate intimacy occasionally and respond more often to his. This could be a whole other post in itself! :) Ladies, we can't deprive our husbands of their intimacy needs. Intimacy is an area of conflict in many, maybe most, marriages. You may not have as great a need for physical intimacy as your husband, but that doesn't mean his needs should be deprived. Hmmm, maybe I should do a post on this topic?
39. Be kind and courteous to him. Why do we so often treat strangers kinder than our own husbands?
40. Take him out on dates! Pre-plan all the details and surprise him! I did this a couple of weeks ago when we went for the night to the mountains. Brad really appreciated it because it was something that he said he wouldn't have done himself. It was a real stress-reliever for both of us. And I had fun surprising him!
41. Don't expect him to read your mind. Really, as much as we'd like to believe it, our husbands are not mind-readers.
42. Flirt with him. Try to think back to those days oh-so-long-ago when flirting with him was actually enjoyable. Now employ some of those tactics again! He'll love it!
43. Seek his advice. Let him know that he's needed and his opinion matters to you. Always seek his advice on big, important issues but also on the small matters too.
44. Keep your home comfortable and clean. Make it a haven for him to return to each day.
45. Do not nag your husband. Proverbs 21:9 says "It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife." And this isn't the only time the nagging wife is mentioned in the Bible!
46. Ask him questions about his job. Find out what your husband does when he's at work. Show interest in this area of his life.
47. Give him a long, passionate kiss every now and then for no reason.
48. Hold his hand. When you're out walking or shopping, reach over and grab your man's hand!
49. Keep a love letter journal. This is something I just started this year. I bought a journal and use it to write letters to Brad. I was originally going to wait until Christmas to give it to him, but I've given it to him to read the individual letters as I write them. This will be a wonderful gift for him to keep to be reminded of my love for him.
50. Hold your husband up in prayer. Ask God for fresh vision to see ways that you can actively and consistently affirm your husband.
Ladies, don't try to tackle this list all at one time. I would encourage you all to choose several of the points and work on those over the next month or so. And pray over this list, asking God to show you which areas you need to improve in and which areas you should actively employ right now in your marriage.
Building our marriage and affirming our husbands is an ongoing privelege. It's not always easy and it often means letting go of our selfishness and our desires, but it's something that we should be seeking the Lord's wisdom in and striving to do.
We're in this together! We're blessed to be wives, and we can be the wives that God desires for and designed us to be!
Have a blessed day!
p.s. - Here's a great resource: A 30-Day Husband Encouragment Challenge for Wives at Reviving Our Heart, Nancy Leigh DeMoss' website. Go check this out, print it out, and use it!