Lily officially turned five yesterday. I really find it hard to believe; five is such a monumental age in my mind. Has it really been five years since I birthed this sweet girl into this world?
I am so thankful to my Father above for the blessings of family that He has bestowed upon me. I am far from a perfect mother, and many times I fail to remember the goodness of this life that He's blessed me with so graciously.
Some days I'm tired and cranky. And too many times I've spouted out angry words that I know cut too deep. There are moments when the selfishness seeps to the top and oozes out its discontenment upon my soul; this leaves me bitter and miserable.
My conscience torments me to examine myself - what are you focused on, Amber? Where is your priority right now? Why do you, in this blessed position you are divinely placed in, feel so stressed and frazzled and discontent?
And the answer is always this: I have failed to keep my eyes on my Savior and my sacred calling, and I have instead leaned on my own strength to accomplish that which I've been called to do. The result: frustration, weariness, and discontentment.
And so I must consciously and daily decide to abide in Him. Each step, each difficulty, each trying moment must consist of Him working in and through me. And this is what I strive for - to abide in my Savior and surrender myself fully to Him so that He can make me the wife, mother, and woman that He desires for me to be.
Have a blessed day!