Admittedly, it's more than that. I admitted to her that I've been in a blog rut. I used to just get on here and post about any old thing, whatever was on my mind. But lately I have found myself annoyed with my lack of direction on my blog. "I need purpose. I need focused content. I need for what I write to really matter, to really be something of sustenance."
"But that's what I always liked about your blog. There was always something different to read about. If you posted about the same thing all the time, it would be boring." That's my mom. Always offering an encouraging word.
And her words did encourage me. But the heart of the matter is that I feel like if I'm going to carve out time in my life to blog about something, I want it to be something of eternal significance. I want it to be something that's going to bring glory to Him. I don't want it to be insignificant, shallow, worldly content. I want it to be grace-filled words flowing from my finger tips only because of the One who saved me by grace.
It's not even about me wanting to attract an audience (although that was once something that I truly desired.) Even that aspect of a blog has come to make me shudder - the potential for pride that so easily slips in and entangles. I know myself. I know my history of browsing my stats and thinking too much about how to get more people to read. And so that has also been hindering my desire to blog.
This is where I'm at: I want to know that every word that appears on this screen is not a product of time and mind spent foolishly. I want to know that if I'm giving up real-time life moments to blog, that that post better be worthy of the life moments I've sacrificed for it. And it's not about the weight of the words; it's about how my Father weighs the words I write. Father - are these thoughts on this screen pleasing to You? Do they honor You? Do they point to you? Or to me?
So I hope that you would graciously bare with me as I filter out these thoughts. I do love to blog. I love to see the words come together on the screen. The thoughts that never come out quite as gracefully from the mouth, seem to flow so much more succintly from the fingers. And in the meantime, I will prayerfully consider each "Making A Home" post that appears on your computer screen. Because our life moments are gifts, and I don't want either of us wasting them.
P.S. - Now that I've gone and gotten all "deep" with you, why don't I end this post with some blessed moments from our Christmas that were captured in the still...
P.S.S. - Your Father loves you.