Friday, September 24, 2010

Because the tears never go unseen...

Thankfulness flows from my heart to yours for all your kind and encouraging words left here for me. And even deeper and wider flows the thankfulness for the prayers that my sisters in Christ lifted up for our family.

It was six days ago when I heard the speaker at church call the downtrodden, the empty, the desperate forward. Your Lord beckons for you, I heard within. The Spirit stirred. He moved my feet to the altar. And there, in all my vulnerability, I publicly gave it to the Lord.

There at the pulpit, down on my knees, and face to floor, the tears flowed. And the words of the hymn struck me to the soul - "Take my will and make it Thine. It shall be no longer mine." Those were the only words I heard, but with them my heart poured forth to Abba, my Daddy. Because that's what I desire. His Will. The only safe place to dwell.

And I'm thankful to my gracious Father for the gift that this week has been. And because my Father knows everything about me, He knows my limit, and He gives me rest when I need it. And He gave that to me this week. And I can't help but be amazed at how faithful He is. When will I stop being amazed? When will I fully know what I already claim to know?

And in the midst of the moments, I've been lingering. Tasting their sweetness. Wrapping my fingers around them, wanting to hold on to them. And in life, the goal is to accept each moment - good or bad - knowing that God holds us through each one. And I'm slowly learning this; feeling the change inside. Knowing that the road to true wisdom is never the easy one. Truth is worth believing, but sometimes we have to learn how to believe. And the things really worth learning are never learned quickly or easily.

And that's when we must learn to abide in Him. And cling to the holy promises in His Word. And determine to believe it because it's His. And He never lies. The Truth cannot lie.

And He does not condemn. But He opens the eyes. The layers begin to peel back and expose that which hinders us. And that is painful and ugly. But the Father promises a new hope and a future and a transformation when the soul is willing. And the soul gives and then takes and gives and then takes. But He waits and loves and longs for us to have rest. And this is the dance we often dance.

And He remains. And He changes the soul, the heart. And life's moments become the gateway to transformation. And each day that we abide in Him, we become more like Him. And one day we will no longer see through the glass darkly, but we will see Him face to face. And then we will really know what we've claimed to know all along.

1 comment:

Johanna said...

Thank you for sharing your heart sweet lady. The pain of suffering in this world is not without effect, although many days surely make us wonder what that good could ever be? I often oppose allowing "steadfastness to have its full effect, that we may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (Js 1:4)"
BUT, He meets us in the darkest, most painful places, and molds us in the fire of suffering. We cling, we love him more. Grateful that he met you there this week. Praying for you and your family.

For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.
And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the LORD. Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;be gracious to me and answer me! You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”
(Psalm 27:5-8)