Reminiscing...

The weather here was absolutely beautiful yesterday. Ian's been sick with the H1N1 virus since last week. So we decided to get a little bit of fresh air since he was feeling a little better and it was so warm and sunny. So we hopped on the quad and took a little ride around the family property.

And sitting in the midst of the old family farmland, is my grandparent's old farm house. It has been unoccupied for the last eleven or so years and it has definitely seen better days. But without fail, when I look at this very old structure, my mind goes back. Back to my elementary and teen years. Back to when I spent hours upon hours inside the warmth of this home. Back to family dinners at the holidays when all the family came back to gather together.

It never fails, my mind goes back. And it often saddens me to see the state of the place now. I had always dreamt of living in this house when I married. Of fixing it up and adding a big huge porch onto the front where I could sit out on my rocking chair! I even went as far as designing how I would remodel the inside.

Even to this day, I still wish that that big old farmhouse was ours. The inside of the house held so much character - the big crown molding, the fireplaces, the mural that my Papa had painted on the ceiling of the dining area. Every door had big thick, detailed trim. The windows were long and tall.

And so as we rode past the farmhouse today, I couldn't help but stop and let my mind go back. Freely. As I peeked into the windows, I saw myself sitting at the dining room table eating salami and onion sandwiches with my Papa and helping my Gammy make pascha. I saw myself in the informal living room surrounded by my family while my Gammy handed out Christmas gifts and my Papa very carefully cut the tape on his gifts so the wrapping paper could be spared.

I saw myself running down the field from the bus stop and running into the side door of the house, where my Gammy waited for me and my sisters. I saw us climbing the big old chestnut tree that was perfect for climbing because of all its low thick branches.

I saw the mountain laurel plants that were always so beautiful to me and my Papa's roses right outside the side door. I saw myself sitting on the front porch on the old metal glider rocker with my Gammy. I saw my husband, who was then just my boyfriend, helping my Papa fix the brick under the steps leading up to the front entrance.

I saw myself climbing the stairs to the upstairs on the many nights I stayed over while my mom was out of town for work. I saw myself sitting on the living room floor in front of my Gammy while she braided my hair.

Oh, the memories. And I just wanted to capture some of them despite the peeling paint and dirty glass. I just wanted to take a picture of the beauty that maybe is visible only to me. And I reminded myself how wonderful it was to have these warm memories of all that lived on in that big old farm house. But it is just that. A house. An earthly, temporary dwelling. And I'm reminded of that now as I look at its dilapidated state. God has given me these beautiful memories, and they will live on.

And this kind of reminds me of life. How easy it is to get caught up in the earthly things. How many times have I obsessed over something transient, something that could be burnt up and gone tomorrow? And this reminds me that I must make it my goal to focus my eyes toward Heavenly things - the things that will last eternally. The things that really matter in the eyes of my Father.

And so it does sadden me that the old family farmhouse has seen better days, but the state of the house does not affect eternity. What's more important is the family that filled the rooms of the house. And the many wonderful memories that we all made together, and that each of us still holds within our hearts. And these memories made at this home, will bind us together forever.