Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Learning to roll with things...

Oh, goodness. I'm still around. I've just been taking time to reflect on certain things in my life. As a result, my blog has been one of the last things on my mind.

Now, for the adoption. We still have no idea what is going on with that. This is what happened... We had finished our homestudy in January and were getting ready to apply for immigration approval to travel when we found out that Jin may have a fatal blood disorder called Fancomi Anemia. Children with Fancomi Anemia stop producing all blood cells by the age of 7 or 8 and the only short-term cure is a bone marrow transplant. With Jin being from Korea, the pediatric hematologist at Children's told us that it would be very difficult to find a good match for Jin. He also told us that this disease is completely life-changing and extremely difficult. Even if a match was found, there was only around a 37% chance that Jin's body would except the donor bone marrow. Even after bone marrow transplants, many of these children go one to develop different kinds of cancers in their 30's.

Let me tell you people, we were completely crushed. Crushed to the core. My heart was broken. I don't know if you can understand how much I had attached myself to this little boy. I already thought of him as my son. How in the world do you process this information????

Well, I couldnt' process it. That's how. Brad and I talked and we decided that if he did indeed have this, we would not be able to proceed with the adoption. Now, I hope that you do not judge us negatively by this decision. We just could not expose Ian and Lily to this kind of trauma at their young age. It would be too stressful on our family. This was hard for me to accept.

There is one test that is used to diagnose this disease. Thankfully, the doctors in Korea had access to the test and were willing to do it. Now, however, we wait. We wait to see what comes of this.

Oh, and I just want to say that this experience has really resulted in an increase in my faith in God. I don't know why this has turned out this way, but I know He's in control. There is more to this story, and when I look at the big picture I see clearly how His hand has been working in this situation.

Please be in prayer for Jin. Even if he does have this disease, he still needs a family that will love him and care for him through the difficult times he will face. Pray for his health. Pray for guidance and wisdom for his doctors. Pray for his salvation.

And pray for us. Ian and Lily still talk about him as their little brother. We've told them that we might not be able to get Jin since he may be really sick. But they don't understand that. Ian told me to get Jin "so I can teach him to be healthy." This is really too much for them to wrap their little minds around. So we need wisdom in how to best handle this information with them.

Thanks for all your prayers!


Amanda said...

My prayers are with your family and Jin. It is very obvious God has his hand in all of this just like you said.


Made In The South said...

Oh my thoughts are with you and your family. At a time when you need us, you have been so kind to extend kindness to my sister(Susie). I am sure she has read my comments and will be blogging soon. May you find peace in the coming days, when we lost our brother a few years ago we thought why did this happen. But even with the pain, we soon realized that it was such a blessing to have had him for twenty three years than to have never had a brother. Tonight I will say a prayer for you that God will shine on your family. Love , Missy (Susie's sister)

Susie from Bienvenue said...

Oh my goodness! In this case there is no right or wrong answer. I think that yall have made the right decision for your little family. Its not easy Im sure to have all of that on your plate. I do hope that the test come back fine and things move on. If not...I pray that lil Jin finds the help he needs. Hang in there girl! Susie

Michelle said...

Oh no!! I was wondering what had happened. It' brave of you to share, and I don't think negatively of you at all. I'll be praying for your family, Jin included! God Bless!