Blessing Others With Meals...

When I was pregnant with Ian, I was on bedrest for preterm labor from 21 weeks until I delivered him at 38 weeks. And when I say bedrest, I mean flat on my back on the couch only allowed up to use the bathroom and get a shower every couple of days.

During this time, we were blessed beyond measure by several women in the church who faithfully brought us meals. And I will always remember dear Fran lending me her Anne of Green Gables DVD collection which I SO enjoyed watching over and over.

Thankfully this was our first child so I didn't have other children to worry about while flat on my back! Brad would set me up with some breakfast in the morning before work and then my mom would check in on me periodically throughout the day, making me lunch and keeping the laundry under control and the dishes clean. (Even these years later, I am still so thankful for that, mom!)

Then after Ian was born, there were ladies from church who brought us dinner for those few weeks immediately following our return home. And this was repeated again after the birth of Lily, and a couple of people even did this when we returned from Ukraine with Sergei. And there have been other instances when dear friends have provided meals for us during various difficult, challenging seasons of our lives.

And I'm sure that any of you who have ever received a meal will agree with me when I say what a HUGE blessing it is!

Taking meals to neighbors, friends, family, or church family during a time of distress, busyness, or illness is an awesome way to bless others.

Recently a friend from church had surgery on her foot and was going to be laid up for several weeks. As I was preparing meals to take to her and her family, I was inspired to write a blog post on the subject matter.

Here are some pointers when taking meals to others. Of course, the meal in and of itself is a huge blessing so if you can't do any of these others things, don't let that keep you from taking the meal! These are just a few things I've found helpful...

1. Send your foods in disposables. Of course, there have been times when it's been a last-minute decision to take food to someone, and I haven't had the disposable pans on hand. However, if possible, it makes it much easier on the person receiving the meal to just dispose of the dishes rather than having to wash them and then return them. In fact, when I bought disposables for my friend's meals, I stocked up with extras to have in the future.

2. Send along disposable plates and forks. Of course, this isn't a necessity, however, it cuts back on the clean-up that the receiver has to do afterwards which is always a big blessing in my book!

3. If possible, send multiple meals. Maybe one to be eaten that day and then another that the family can freeze to eat the following week.

4. If you send multiple meals, include a menu so the family knows what food goes with what meal.

5. Take charge of planning multiple meals for the family for several weeks or however long they will need them. I recently did this for my friend who had the foot surgery. I printed calendars for May and June off the internet, called around to ladies in the church and got enough volunteers for my friend to have three to four meals each week. I marked this on the calendar (which dates and who was bringing the food) and then photocopied it. When I delivered my food, I gave the schedule to my friend's husband so they would know which days food would be delivered to their door.



6. When you are planning meals from multiple people, try to get an idea of what they will take, if possible. That way the receiving family will not be receiving three lasagnas or two meatloaves in the same week. When you're recruiting volunteers, give them ideas of what others are bringing so that they won't duplicate those meals.

7. Depending on the circumstances, send a few extras. For example, I sent some chicken salad and rolls for my friend to have for lunch as well as some blueberry muffins and a loaf of sweet bread for her to snack on throughout the day. It's also a blessing to send along a beverage.

8. Send a long a few magazines or lend some books or movies to the recipient if they are ill or confined to bed. I really did appreciate the DVDs from Fran and the books our pastor's wife lent to me while I was on bedrest!

9. While you're preparing the food, think upon the privilege God has given you to bless the receiving family. Even something as small as delivering a meal to someone in need is an opportunity to live out the Gospel. We should consider it a great blessing to be able to help those God has placed in our lives, even though it means taking time out of our already busy schedule.

Have a blessed day!

Amber



I'm linking up here today...

Raising Homemakers
Time-Warp Wife
Growing Home

Your Home: A Hub for Biblical Hospitality

As believers in Christ, the Bible gives us the command (which actually in my mind is a great privilege) to show hospitality to others.


The reason we don't often see hospitality as a pleasure or a privilege is because we often look at it from a worldly viewpoint, rather than a Biblical one. I know that the best way to stress myself out when we're having guests is to start thinking about things I should do to impress my guests. This is not pleasurable to me. This turns me into a grouch. Watch out, family.

That is not the portrait of a woman exhibiting Biblical hospitality. That is the portrait of a woman whose husband and children will likely look at her with disdain and see her as a hypocrite as she pours favor and kindness out on her guests but barks orders at her family behind the closed doors. Guilty as charged.

In our minds, we often picture hospitality as a large home with plenty of spare bedrooms to share, lots of food that had taken hours and hours to prepare, lots of entertainment available to keep our guests busy, etc., etc.

However, that is the worldly viewpoint of hospitality.

To show Biblical hospitality, we simply must start with a heart that cares for others and is so full and aware of Christ's love for us that we simply must share that same love with those around us.

Biblical hospitality has nothing to do with the thread-count of your sheets, a basket heaping with goodies for your guests, chocolates on their pillows at night, or a huge gaming system and an ample supply of games to entertain your guests.

We just need to be willing to ask God to bless what we do have and then be willing to use it to bless others.

Hospitality does not require an abundance of money. If it did, God would not have commanded it. The fact that He commanded hospitality to be shown by His children, shows that it is something we are all able to do, whether low-income or wealthy, whether we live in a trailer or a 4000 sq. ft house, whether we drive a twelve-year old car or a brand new Lincoln.

My Ukrainian grandma used to tell me all the time about her mom (whom I never met because she was taken by breast cancer when my grandma was still rather young.) She said that her mom would give a person the shirt she was wearing if that person needed it or liked it.

That's true Biblical hospitality. Showing kindness, showing love, showing a deep-rooted care and concern for others that grows from the awareness of our Father's love for us.

When we have a grasp on how much His love for us truly is, we can't help but want to make ourselves vessels of His love to others. It's the natural reaction to deep gratitude.

He gives. He loves. So we must do the same. Not because He forces us to do so. Rather, because we are so full of Him that He must pour out from us to bless others. He can't be confined. He is too great.


So, how can we use our homes as hubs for Biblical hospitality?

...making meals in our kitchen and delivering them to elderly neighbors or friends who just had a baby

...inviting others to break bread with our family around our home's table

...offering up rooms (or even a sofa) to a friend who is passing through the area

...hosting missionaries visiting your church overnight

...walking across the street to the new neighbor (or the neighbor you've never made the time to meet before) and inviting her and her children over for coffee or lunch

...offering your home up an evening each week or month for other women to meet together to fellowship

...inviting the confused, seeking teen in to talk with you ~ mentoring

...offering to mentor the newly-wed bride over hot cups of coffee

...starting a Bible study for the young girls in your church's youth group; inviting them in to your home were they can really get to know you and visa versa

...using some of your free moments to send personal notes of encouragement via good-old postal service; love from your home (and your hand) to theirs

...inviting the young, harried mother who really just needs to get out for awhile over for some good conversation while the children play together

...hosting foreign-exchange students or orphans through orphan-hosting programs

...making your home a "mostly" open-door policy (I say mostly because even your family unit needs time alone to remain strong and connected) for your children's friends

...using your home to teach the principles of hospitality to your children so that they, in turn, will grow to practice it as well


God has blessed us with our homes. They are from His hand alone.

Yes, we may have worked hard and by the sweat of our brow to build our homes and afford our homes, but ultimately all the provisions we received for our homes are from His hands and are His gifts.


And, boy, could He really use our homes for His glory! And He wants to! Our homes have so much potential to be a blessing to others. We just need to be willing to destroy any preconceived worldly views and intimidation, and focus on showing hospitality in light of the Gospel.

15 Tips for Small Home Hospitality...

You can do it. You can have guests in to your small(ish) home and not be totally stressed out for the week prior. Sometimes it just takes a little thinking, ingenuity, and a willingness to be flexible.

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Here are some tips for small home hospitality...

1. Get rid of clutter. Clutter will make your house feel even smaller and crowded. Even if this means dumping all of your clutter into a box and storing it in the basement until after the event, do it. This would also be a good time to temporarily put away any breakables that might accidentally get bumped and broken.

2. Keep your menu manageable. It's best to stick with tried-and-true recipes when entertaining. I usually stick with a few different dishes that I am comfortable with making and that I know should come out successful. This isn't the time to experiment with a new recipe. If you're feeling intimidated with serving dinner, especially to a large crowd, try an appetizer party or serving a sandwich bar at lunchtime.

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3. Know how many people can fit comfortably in your home, and remember that you may be able to fit more than you think. I once hosted a baby shower for my sister in which almost every single guest came (when does that ever happen!?) Anyway, it was pretty crowded with 30-some people in our home, but we made it work. Now I know that I wouldn't want to have anymore than 30 people in our home if we were going to be confined to the inside of our home.

4. Set a warm ambiance in your home. A warm, welcoming, cozy ambiance will distract from the limited size of your space. The key here is to make your guests feel right at home. Light some candles, play some soft classical music, use soft, low lighting ~ these little things will go a long way in making the atmosphere cozy and warm. Also, keep the temperature of the home comfortable. This will probably mean turning down the thermostat an hour or so before your guests arrive. The more guests, the warmer your home will be.

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5. Try to get as much cooking done ahead of time. This means choosing a menu that can be prepared in advance, even up to a couple of days in advance. By having most of the preparation, cooking, and clean-up done in advance, it will clear the kitchen space of mess and will free you to focus on your guests (not food preparation.)

6. Have a dedicated place for purses and coats. If we are having just a small gathering (for instance, just another family) we have a bench in our small entryway on which the guests pile on their coats. However, when we host larger gatherings, we make our master bedroom our designated "coat" drop-spot. Put one of your children in charge of gathering coats from your guests as they arrive and delivering them to the designated area.

7. Get rid of unnecessary furniture. If there are pieces of furniture in the area in which you will be entertaining that will not be used, temporarily move them to the basement or a bedroom to free up more floor space. This is especially helpful when hosting larger gatherings. Examples of furniture would be coffee tables, end tables, sideboards, etc.

8. On the other hand, you could actually utilize the coffee table and end tables as serving or eating surfaces. If your guests will be eating in the living room, for example, you could pull the coffee table up closer to the couch and use it as a makeshift table. It's also nice to have end tables for guests to set their drinks while they are eating.

9. Go buffet style. A smaller, intimate gathering is nice to have around the kitchen or dining room table, passing food around to the guests. However, if you're having a larger crowd, it is much easier to do a buffet. Line the food up on your kitchen counters, putting plates, napkins, and silverware on one end and food in a logical order down the counter (for example ~ buns before burgers, tortilla shells before taco meat.) If you have limited counter space, use your kitchen table and have guests eat in the living room. I actually also have a piece of our countertop that was left over when our house was built. It fits perfectly over our stovetop, so I always put it over the stove and turn that area into a serving surface.

10. Utilize the outdoors. If you have a back deck or patio, move the party outside. Or make the outdoors area easily accessible so that guests can mingle back and forth between the indoors and outdoors. We have a covered deck in the back on which we have a large table with chairs and we also have a covered side deck on which we have seating as well. There have been times when our guests have utilized both spaces. Also in the summer, we do a lot of cook-outs. A simple campfire, some hot dogs or sausages, and camping chairs makes for a quick and easy get-together. And since we do have a large, wide-open backyard, we've been blessed to be able to host our church's larger summertime picnics and get-togethers.

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11. Eat in the living room. Allow your guests to mingle into the other living spaces of your home. This is when you have to go with the flow and expect that there might be some accidental spills. However, I have found that gathering with family and friends is worth a few leftover stains.

12. Borrow or invest in a long table and folding chairs to use in addition to your kitchen table. When I host Christmas dinner each year, we set up another long table alongside our kitchen table, and we borrow folding chairs from our church or our family for seating at the extra table. Buy a couple of matching tablecloths for a more seamless, pulled-together look. If you don't have room to set up another table in your kitchen, set one up in the living room and tear it down after dinner is finished to free up space for visiting.

13. Maximize counter space. Think tiered serving platters and cake stands. Serve food vertically to free up more space on the counter.

14. Have a designated "kid's space". You can look at this is several different ways. First of all, if you have a small card table, you could seat the kids around it while eating. And after dinner is finished, keeping a play area for the kids in one of the bedrooms keeps toy clutter and running, screaming kids out of the other entertaining spaces. And, of course, if it's nice out, have some outdoor activities for the kids to go out and play with.

15. Serve on sturdy, disposable pieces. I enjoy having my guests eat off of my nice dinnerware, but it's much easier when it comes to clean-up to use disposables when hosting a larger gathering. Just be sure to buy sturdy plates so that guests aren't dumping their food on their laps!

Hopefully you will find some of these tips helpful!

Happy hospitality!

Small House Hospitality - Attitude is Everything

I have learned that my attitude towards hospitality is everything. How I feel about my guests, their comfort, and the reason I'm extending hospitality, have everything to do with how successful I am in making each hospitality experience successful.

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This means that even if I burn the food, things will work out if I have the right attitude. Even if we're short one bed to accommodate our overnight guests, things will work out (I will find a solution) if I have the right attitude. Even if I'm nervous about making conversation with my guests, everything will work out if I have the right attitude.

So, what is this "right" attitude I'm speaking about?

Simple. I need to be focused on my guests and their needs. Focused on making them feel welcome and loved. Focused on showering them with the love of Christ.

Contrast that to my selfish desire to be viewed as the "perfect" hostess. Or my desire to impress my guests with my "amazing" cooking abilities or perfectly clean home.

Because when I focus on my guests and have a positive attitude toward what hospitality really means to me as a believer (an opportunity to serve those God puts in our paths), I won't be worried about what others think about me. If I burn the food, I order a pizza. If we're short one bed, we borrow a blow-up mattress from a friend for a few days.

I have learned to approach each hospitality opportunity with prayer. This time of prayer puts my heart into focus on what is important. It brings me in line with God's portrait of Biblical hospitality.

My prayer is usually something along the lines of this...

Dear Father, thank You for this opportunity to extend hospitality. Lord, I pray now that You would help me to stay focused on what is really important ~ to make our guests feel welcomed, cared for, and loved. Lord, show me ways in which I can cover my guests in Your love. Lord, give me privy to what my guests needs are. Show me how I can serve them, love them, care for them.

I pray that the moment they enter our home, Your presence would be felt and would be real to our guests. Lord, I pray that You would expose any selfish desires I am harboring in my heart, and help me to replace them with an attitude of love and grace. Bless this time we have with our guests. Make Your presence known. In Christ's powerful name, Amen

Can I Really Extend Hospitality in a Small Home?

As I said yesterday, I used to struggle with having guests over. Not because I didn't want to have people into my home. Goodness, that definitely was not the reason. In fact, I've had the desire to "entertain" from the very start of our marriage when we were living in a small basement apartment.

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My problem was that I felt limited because of the size of our home. The livable space of our home is 1600 sq. ft. (not including a bedroom, bathroom, and laundry room we just put in the basement last fall.) I was looking at magazines and television shows that talked about the proper way to entertain, and I was seeing big homes with wide open spaces, large kitchens, and lots and lots of space for guests to mingle and socialize.

Immediately I began comparing my small house to these magazine-worthy homes and began to feel envious and inadequate.

But my problem was that I was looking at the "where" of entertaining rather than the "why" of entertaining. And I began to learn that the heart of the matter really had nothing to do with entertaining at all. I was looking at it all wrong. The magazines and television shows were showing me how to entertain so that my guests were impressed. The Bible shows me how to entertain so my guests are cared for and loved.

You can read more about what true Biblical hospitality is here in this post I wrote last year. It really clears things up and brings us to an understanding of what true hospitality is really all about.

So, yes you can extend hospitality even in a small home. Hospitality isn't about impressing our guests. It's not about showing off our cooking or decorating abilities. It's not about setting ourselves and our capabilities up on a pedestal for all the world to see.

It's about so much more. It's about thankfully taking what God has blessed us with (whether that's an apartment, a trailer, a small or a large home) and then using it to bless others. It's about providing guests with a warm, welcome place to come in, prop their feet up, and relax. It's about showering your guests with the love of Christ from the moment they step over that threshold until the time they cross over it again when leaving.

Biblical hospitality has nothing to do with the size of our homes. Biblical hospitality doesn't even necessarily have to do anything with our homes at all.

Because if we're having people into our homes to prove something, if we're having people in to show off our possessions, then we're approaching this whole hospitality thing with ill-motives and ill-intentions.

After all, would you rather spend time in a small home with hosts who make you feel accepted and at home or in a big house where you feel inadequate and inferior? A place where you feel loved and accepted just as you are or a place where you think, "boy, I can't ever have them to my place because I know I can't live up to this." A place where, when you enter, you are instantly filled with a sense of something deep and gratifying or a place where, when you enter, you feel envious and even intimidated?

Tomorrow I will be discussing how I "entertain" guests at mealtimes. I've had as few people as another couple in for dinner and up to a whole family-full for dinner. So I'll share about what I've learned in this area of preparing and providing meals for others in our small home.

Have a blessed Wednesday!

Small House Hospitality - A New Series

We have a small house by today's standards in America. Up until last fall, the livable area of our home was 1600 sq. ft. We finished 1/3 of our basement, putting in a bedroom, laundry room, and bathroom so that Sergei would have his own room just this past fall.

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I used to think that the small-ish size of our home really limited me in doing things that I liked to do such as entertaining friends and having company over.

Then about three or four years ago, I got a grip. God brought me face-to-face with my problem. My problem was discontentment and an unrealistic understanding of what hospitality meant. I was comparing what I had to those around me, and then, subsequently, feeling insufficient to entertain.

I don't remember exactly how God spoke this to my heart. But when He did, I sprung forward in researching what exactly Biblical hospitality was supposed to look like, and I found out that it had NOTHING to do with the size of my house.

I did a whole series on Biblical hospitality last summer. But I never touched on small home hospitality so I just wanted to share a few of my thoughts regarding that this week.

Tomorrow will start the first post in this series. I will begin by answering the question, "Can I really extend hospitality in a small house?" During this series, I will also discuss having dinner guests, hosting small parties, and hosting overnight guests. And sometime in the near future I plan on expending this small home series by devoting some posts to embracing the delights that come along with living in a smaller home.

So, won't you join me over the next few days as I discuss the topic of small home hospitality?

See you here tomorrow!

Showing Hospitality to Our Spouses and Children

Sometimes it feels overwhelming to think about having guests over for meals when there are some days when it takes all of my energy just to get the routine things done. I think we've all been there.

It's important to remember that we all experience seasons of life, which change as we age and our responsibilities shift. There will be times in our lives, like before children or after our children are grown and out on there own, when we will have more time to devote to entertaining our friends, family, and strangers. A busy mom with young children is often overwhelmed by the thought of having visitors into her home frequently because she often sees it as being more work and preparation, which it is.

And God knows all of this. He wouldn't want us to sacrifice our family at the expense of being hospitable to others. That would be hypocrisy, wouldn't it? And it would no longer be Biblical.

So we should really start by showing hospitality to our immediate family - our husband and our children. If it ever comes to the point where we are putting others ahead of our family, we are setting ourselves up for a bitter husband and bitter children who view hospitality as a burden rather than a blessing.

So we must approach this with discernment and balance. Depending on what season of our life we are in will determine how often and in what ways we practice hospitality in our home. Since practicing hospitality is a command, not an option, it must be done.

As previously discussed, hospitality doesn't only take place in our homes, however, our homes are our most useful and easily accessible tool to use in showing hospitality to others. It is our domain, where we are real and most comfortable. We have control over the environment of our home to make it a peaceful haven for our guests. And we should be prepared and willing to use it as such. But never at the expense of our family.

Why is it that I can find it so much easier to show hospitality and kindness to friends, extended family, and even strangers than I can my own husband and children? Why save the special things for entertaining times rather than everyday moments? What is this saying to our family if we only serve the best or act the best when we have guests?

We must put our family first or our practice of hospitality to extend God's love to others will be in vain. If we neglect our children or our spouse for the sake of having guests in frequently, then we are harming our family unit. The family unit needs time of peace and respite to come together again and rebond.

So we must wisely put boundaries up around our family. It's good for others to know that we have an "open door", but it's also good for them to know that sometimes it's shut and locked in order for the family unit to recuperate and strengthen. We cannot serve as a unit if the unit is distant, weak, and exhausted. The unit needs time to refocus and regroup.

So what are some ways we can practice hospitality with our immediate family, our spouses and children?

Here are some ideas...

1. Let your children request their favorite meal ocassionally. I try to do this on my kids' and husband's birthdays. I'll ask them what main dish and dessert they would like, and then that's what I make for dinner that night.

2. Set the table. Buffet style is okay every now and then, but there's nothing quite as comforting as coming to a freshly set table with steaming platters of yummy food. I always light candles during the cooler months. When it darkens early, it's nice to have the warmth of candlelight warming our little space at the dinner table, and the kids have really come to love this little practice!

3. Every now and then, go all out and set a fancy table with linen napkins, your good dishes, and nice glasses. These niceties do not have to be saved for holidays or special occasions. I posted a while back about how I moved all of my white dishes (that were originally only used for Christmas) up to my pantry so I would have easier access to them and, therefore, use them more often.

Cloth napkins add a special touch as well. I try not to buy paper napkins, both for the financial aspect as well as the paper-waste aspect. I have collected fabric napkins over the last several years through clearance sales at department stores, estate sales, and second-hand shops. You can also easily make your own by cutting up a large sheet and hemming the edges. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. Special does not always have to translate into costly.

4. We should make our home warm and cozy for our family. A haven from the blows and difficulties they face out in the world. What can you do to make your home feel welcoming to your husband and children? Light candles, play nice relaxing musical (I like to play classical or instrumental hymns), use low light in the evenings to make it cozy, keep comfy pillows and warm, cuddly blankets for your loved ones to cuddle up under.

5. Listen to your spouse and children. This is hard for me, especially with my kids. I have the tendency to half-listen when my kids are talking to me, especially if I'm in the middle of a task. I definitely need the Lord's strength to give my full attention when they talk to me. Just as I would want a guest to know that I was interested in what they had to say, I should also want for my spouse and children to feel the same.

6. Plan fun activities every now and then. This doesn't have to be anything spectacular. We often enjoy family game night during the cooler months and picnics and bike rides during the warmer months. The important thing is that everyone is together and having a good time.


7. Establish some fun family traditions. Traditions are important in a family. Much could be written about this topic and its importance in a healthy Christian family. However, I will say that traditions are a great way to establish unity and a sense of belonging in a family. Our family has established and practiced several different traditions in the eleven years we have been married. I have a friend whose family celebrates the start of the weekend each Friday evening with pizza and a movie. Sometimes they make homemade pizza, but on days when she's been particularly busy, they'll order takeout. No stress, just a constant that their children look forward to each week. Traditions bond families together.


8. What is one of our main priorities when having company? Okay, besides figuring out what we're going to serve them, we all think about when we're going to clean before they get there. We should also strive to keep our home in order and uncluttered (as much as we can) not only for our guests, but also for our family who lives there every day. I'm not talking perfect. I'm talking comfortable, lived-in, and neat. It is hard to have peace in an overly cluttered or dirty home. How can one really rest in that kind of environment?

9. When you are having guests to your home, include your spouse and children in the preparations. Even the littlest children can help prepare by setting the table or mixing ingredients together. Not only does this make them feel special to be included in the prepartions, but it's also teaching and preparing them to be hospitable when they get older.

10. Have an impromptu afternoon tea, serving hot tea (or icy cold), scones (or Nilla wafers, if you want to keep it quick and simple) and maybe some finger sandwiches. Girls would especially love this! Serve everything on a nice white platter. Buy some sugar cubes to make it extra special (sometimes the little details make the difference). You could even set the table with a tablecloth and some fresh wildflowers from the field.

So I hope that you can see why it is most important to be hospitable to our family first and then to our friends and strangers. We cannot effectively serve God effectively in our homes if we are setting up bitterness in our family members' hearts because they feel second-rate and neglected. This is definitely something that I need to work on. It's so much easier and exciting to show kindness and special attention to my guests than it is to my children. I pray that I would do better at that. The last thing I want to do is to lead my children unto bitterness.

Lord, help us to serve You, then our families, then others. That is what You desire. Help us to be gracious for our current seasons of life. I pray that we (myself included) would not see my young children as hindrances to practicing hospitality, but I pray, rather, that You would help me to enjoy showering them with Your love and kindness just as I do my houseguests. Help me to be attentive to them and their needs. I pray for Your strength to model Biblical hospitality to my spouse and children. Lord, it would be horrible to know that they look upon me as being a hypocrite. Give me discernment to keep balance in our home so that it may be a place of rest and peace to my family as well as those You send our way, so that we can then serve You in unity and love. In Your Son's name I pray, Amen.

Hospitality Beyond the White-Picket Fence...

Who says that hospitality can only take place in the home?

As we've already discussed, hospitality is a state of the heart. Therefore, we should take it with us wherever our travels take us.

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Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could make people feel welcome just by our presence? Can we, for a moment, reflect on how we might have felt had we had the chance to meet Christ face-to-face when He walked the earth?


The children who were viewed as nuisances by His disciples - He told them to come to Him. The woman under assault for her sinful life - He told her she was whole and to "Go and sin no more." Zaccheus, the corrupt Publican-leader who stole from "the least of these" - He told him to come down from the branches and dine with Him.

We could go on and on.

And here is an important thing to remember - Christ did not have a permanent dwelling place in which He laid His head each night. He went where He was needed - a holy vagabond, but one with a divine purpose. He did not lack direction or purpose - He went to show His love for His people. And He did it without a big, gorgeous house or an elaborate menu or pockets full of money. His purpose was not to impress others but to impress upon them His love for them.

And now He commands us to love one another. To live beyond our white-picket fences for His purposes. To take what we learn at the altar out the back door of the church and into the world. We're to know Him and make Him known. And we best make Him known through how we represent His kingdom as we interact with His creation.

God has given us a wonderful opportunity to represent His kingdom through our acts of hospitable love and kindness to others.

So, how can we make hospitality portable?

What is the state of our hearts as we go about our daily routine? When we are out doing our grocery shopping or daily errands, are we kind to those around us? Do we treat others like the God-created beings that they are, or are we out to accomplish our own agenda only? Are we impatient in the check-out line? Do we complain and grumble if our lunch order is not perfect? Do we hold those around us up to unreasonably high expectations in order that we might be served? If hospitality is a state of the heart, we need to start with a heart check.


Wouldn't it be exciting if we could all head out of our homes with the purpose of putting a smile on someone's face, someone we don't even necessarily know? Could we turn our primary tasks of grocery shopping, hair cuts, dental and doctor appointments into secondary tasks of making someone else smile? Wouldn't our errands suddenly become more exciting if we viewed them as divinely ordained opportunities to reach out for Him? I love that thought!

What about that mom with the screaming kids who looks like she's just about to lose it? Could we encourage her by gently letting her know that we understand and have days just like that too? Or what about striking up a conversation with the lonely elderly person in the grocery store aisle with you? Even if it puts you behind schedule by ten minutes, that ten minutes could have given that lonely God-child the strength to get through the day.

Or how about simply walking around with a smile on your face? Did you ever notice how contagious a smile can be? I've personally been affected by other people's smiles. A smile seems so simple, but it can really speak to a heart.

Or we can think on more concrete ways of showing hospitality outside of our homes. Making meals for a new mother, an elderly couple, a working mother, a financially-hurting family or just a random neighbor. Wouldn't you appreciate a call at 11 am informing you that your neighbor wanted to bless you with that night's meal?

Bake some cookies or brownies. Package them up simple-like or you could go a little more fancy. They taste the same whether they are packaged on a disposable plate covered with cling wrap or tied up with a pretty bow in crisp cellophane. Now, if you're like me, you can add some extra-special finishing touches to make your neighbor feel extra-special, or you can just give them a simple plate of cookies with a little hand-written note.


Visit a nursing home. You could take just yourself and your little ones, or you could also take along a small sugar-free treat for the residents. Our church carols at local nursing homes each Christmas and Easter, and the residents just absolutely LOVE having us and our kids around. You can just tell that it absolutely makes their day! We always take little crafts that our Wednesday night children's group makes, and this makes it even more fun for them!

Call a friend who you haven't spoken to for a while and arrange for a time for you to treat her to coffee or tea at a local restaurant or coffee house. It's so hard to keep in touch with friends, and so this would be a treat for both parties!

Send some hand-written hospitality! You know that I love handwritten notes! Who doesn't like to find a hand-addressed envelope waiting for them in their mailbox? Send some loving hospitality through the postal service! Take the time to write a nice letter to a friend or relative, letting them know how much they mean to you.

Here's one that may stretch us... The man who sits on the corner with the sign. How about a quick trip through the drive-thru for a hot meal and a cool or hot drink (depending on the weather) to hand off to him through your car window? Maybe a note on the take-out bag letting him know that you will pray for him? Not sure if he "really needs the help"? Then go by the Holy Spirit's leading and trust His prompting. If He says "go", then throw reason out the car window and go.

Father ~ Show us all how we can take hospitality on the road. Help us, help me, to reach beyond our own little worlds and see the bigger picture. Help us to be willing to sacrifice our time and our comfort zones in order to better serve you through reaching out to those who need Your love. Father, I admit that I need Your divine assistance in this. I often become way too comfortable and complacent and often find my roots digging just a tad too deep. Father, awaken my soul to see fresh ways to encourage others, love others, and witness to others through my life and my actions. Show me who you want me to reach out to right now; prompt me through Your Holy Spirit and then give me the courage and discernment to do it. In Your Son's life-giving name, Amen.

Hospitality Roots Itself in the Heart...

Genuine hospitality starts in the heart. It starts with the knowledge that God loves us deeply and wants us to share His love that He so freely lavishes on us with those that we come in contact with, strangers and long-time friends.


Back in the days when Christ walked this earth, there were no hotels, motels, or B&B's. Sure there were some inns, but they were not as accessible or near as numerous as today. Those sojourning the earthly trails would most likely find themselves lodging for the night (or nights) in the home of a Christ-follower who willingly opened their humble abodes up to them.


I realize that times have changed, and it's not necessarily safe to open your home up to any old person who shows up on your doorstep and asks to come inside. I realize that. We need to think upon the safety of our families. However, if we're honest with ourselves, we're probably presented with more opportunities to open our home up to "strangers" (traveling missionaries, new visitors at church, etc.) than we take advantage of. Guilty here!

And, as we will discuss in the future, showing hospitality does not always necessarily mean bringing others into our home. Sometimes it is necessary to take hospitality on the road. And so, hospitality should really house itself in the depths of our hearts, ready to be taken to wherever He may call it and us to go.

So how do we nurture the growth of hospitality in our hearts? Well, the biggest and, by far, most effective thing to do is actually rather simple. Too simple, you may think.

Pray.

As with everything in the faith life, prayer should come first. We should pray for a heart that is fertile to grow a hospitable way of life. We should pray for God to plant the roots of Biblical hospitality in our hearts. And then we should water those roots with more prayer and with studying God's Word on the topic. Look hospitality up in your Bible's topical index. And while you're at it, look up love. Be prepared to read a while with that one!

And it is also helpful to read what others have written on practicing hospitality. Prayer and God's Word first. Others' writings and thoughts next. And then we practice by doing. But don't wait until you think you have it all down-pat. We'll never be perfect in any area of our lives here on earth. God does not expect perfection (He knows it's unattainable, you know), and He doesn't want us to wait until we think we have it perfect. (We'd never do it then.) Instead, God wants us to step out in faith and do what His Word says. And His Word tells us to show hospitality to others so that He may be known. Give God the little that you have, and He will make it bigger than you ever thought possible. (Matthew 14:13-21)


Father, gracious Father ~ Thank you for giving us the opportunity to share your love with others. Your love is so great and deep and has no end. Please give us hearts that are soft and fertile. Fertile enough to grow Your way of hospitality. Plant down deep a desire to reach out to others and love them and care for them the way You do us. Help us to put aside our fears and anxieties regarding our abilities and instead commit all of our ways to You. And in You and through You, we will succeed. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.

Blessings to you all!

Biblical Hospitality vs. Entertaining

Did you know that there is a difference between hospitality and entertaining?

I lived for years thinking that the two were the same exact thing. Fast forward several years, several books and Bible studies on hospitality, and I came to the conclusion that there is, in fact, a big difference between the two.

I looked the two words up in thefreedictionary.com:

Entertain: To hold the attention of with something amusing or diverting.

Hospitality: Cordial and generous reception of or disposition toward guests.

Looking at these two definitions, I feel stressed and overwhelmed at the thought of entertaining. I am naturally introverted (although time and age has brought me out of my shell, and one probably wouldn't even know that I am a natural introvert.)

The thought of having to hold the attention of something for an extended period of time is totally overwhelming to me. When I think about having to do that, I feel pressured and anxious. What if I can't think of something to say? What if I'm not amusing enough? What if my guests are bored with me? Etc., etc.

However, when I read the definition of hospitality, I do know that I am indeed able to show a cordial reception of guests. I am able to show an interest in my guests and their lives. I feel the pressure slide off.

Here's the big difference between the two: entertaining is very me-centered and hospitality is guest-centered.

Here is a portrait of entertaining: What can I do that will totally knock the socks off of my guests? How beautiful can I make the table settings? What delicious gourmet dishes can I serve that will totally "wow" my guests? What outfit am I going to wear that will make me look gorgeous and put-together?

When I entertain, I obsess over what my guests will think of me. I get cranky because a pillow is out of place or there are water droplets on the bathroom vanity. If something goes wrong, it sends me over the top.

Entertaining is about impressing. Entertaining gives the glory to the hostess. The hostess' intentions are to totally impress her guests with her amazing culinary abilities. She wants to put forth the notion that she is pretty close to perfect and so is her home. I've been there way too many times. Anyone else?

However, as you may be able to see by now, this is fake and superficial. How can you be real with your guests if you can't even let your guard down for them to see your imperfections or weaknesses? If you're so worried about what your guests are thinking about you and your abilities, how can you even begin to truly focus on them and their comfort? You might think that you are, but as long as your attention is focused on yourself, there is little mental energy left to really devote to your guests.

Now, Biblical hospitality:

I'm in the midst of a pretty typical day. The kids' toys are scattered throughout the house. The kitchen counter is cluttered and there are way too many dirty dishes littering the sink and countertop. Maybe I didn't even have a shower that morning. Then the doorbell rings.

It's a neighbor or a friend. Oh no. If I invite them in, they'll know that I don't always have it together like I want everyone to think. What to do? Is the bathroom clean? Oh, I hope that one of the boys didn't miss the toilet!

Well, if I practice Biblical hospitality, I invite them in, unshowered body, cluttered house, and all. And I serve them lunch even if it means turkey sandwiches on paper plates because I haven't had the chance to run the dishwasher yet. And I don't apologize for the toys or the dirty dishes (I know that's a hard one) because that puts my guests on the spot and probably makes them feel just a bit uncomfortable. But instead, I invite them into my real, imperfect life and treat them like a friend.

That looks a lot different, doesn't it? Hospitality is not at all about "me." It's completely about others. It's about opening myself up and being real with others. It's about taking the time to love others with my time and resources (even if they're limited) even if I haven't had hours or days to clean and prep.

Biblical hospitality is not about cooking out-of-this-world dishes, setting a beautiful tablescape, or having a perfectly in-place home. You don't even have to be a good cook to practice Biblical hospitality!

Biblical hospitality is about focusing totally on our guests and their needs. It's about being okay with leaving the dishes go until later so that we can linger longer at the dinner table and talk with our guests.

When I finally realized what God expected of me as far as having other people into my home, it was really rather freeing. I didn't have to make everything perfect. I just needed to make things nice and comfortable. And I just needed to stop being so uptight, let go of my obsession of what others thought of me, and show Christ's love to my guests by opening my imperfect home and family up to them.

If we live in the "entertaining" state of mind, we'll eventually become burnt-out. Entertaining puts a lot of pressure and high expectations on us since it's all about how we can impress our guests.

Living in the "hospitality" state of mind permits us to take it easy. Sure it's fun to set a nice table and it's certainly okay to pay attention to the details and make things special. But these things are not the most important things, and they should be done to make our guests feel special and cared for.


I've been the "have guests to impress" gal. And I'm glad I don't have to go there anymore. And, trust me, you're not going to offend your guests with your relaxed approach (and if you do, then they're in the wrong, not you), but, rather, I think you'll make them comfortable knowing that you're not perfect either.

Think of it this way: If you're always going over the top when you have guests over and everything is always as close to perfect as possible, don't you think your guests are going to feel intimidated with the thought of having you to their home, feeling that it would be pretty hard to live up to your performance? I've been there.

Now, for those of us who enjoy adding special touches and details to our meals and such, that's okay too. I'm one of those gals. But our intention in doing this should be in making our guests feel important and special, not making ourselves look good. I have a wonderful friend who is a natural at adding details to her meals that always make me feel special and at-home at her home. That's great. That's okay. And I actually plan on sharing some of the things I do to add a special touch. However, it's important to remember that these are not necessary to practice hospitality and should never come before simply welcoming our guests and showing love to them.

Blessings to you all! You're truly a blessing to me, and I pray that you always feel welcome here!

Biblical Hospitality - A Command

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. ~ Hebrews 13:2

As Christians, we are commanded to practice hospitality to others. Hospitality is not just for those of us who are spiritually gifted with the practice of hospitality. It is a Biblical practice that is to be practiced by all believers.

So what exactly is hospitality? Biblical hospitality? What does it look like? How do we practice it?

That is what I would like to discuss here on Making A Home over the course of the next several weeks.

Biblical hospitality is one of my spiritual gifts (although practicing hospitality comes easier for me than for those whose spiritual gift does not lay in this area, I still have a lot to learn and I really have to depend on God to practice the Biblical version of hospitality.)

When I say that my spiritual gift is hospitality, I simply mean that I have a deep desire to show hospitality to those around me and this desire comes very naturally to me. All believers in Christ have at least one (probably more, though) spiritual gifts, gifts that God specifically endowed upon them. What I'm not saying is that I practice perfect hospitality or that I have acquired this ability on my own. It's a spirit-endowed ability; the glory is owed to the Lord.

My perspective of hospitality has changed over the last eleven years since Brad and I first married. It's shifted from a more me-centered practice to a more God-centered practice. But this hasn't always been easy because it's very easy for me to fall back into the trap of entertaining to impress rather than to bless.

So, God has been laying it on my heart to delve into the subject of Biblical hospitality here at Making A Home, and Lord-willing, that's what my intention is over the next month or so.

When we entertain others, it's not about us. It's about those we invite into our homes or those we go out and seek to bless. After all, hospitality is portable. It's not something that only takes place in our homes; it takes place in our hearts. It's a state of mind.

I pray that this coming series will be an encouragement to you. I pray that God will bless us as we seek to follow His example as we bless others through the practice of hospitality. I pray that this series will be a learning experience for all of us.

Let us commit this study to the Lord:

Father, I thank you for the privilege You have given Your children to bless others through hospitality. I thank You that You use hospitality to provide for the needs of Your children and You also use it to show Your love to others. I pray that Your hand would be upon this series on Biblical hospitality. Lord, give me the words that You know we all need to read. Prepare our hearts to accept your model of hospitality. Help us to throw off the pride that often weaves itself into our entertaining (I know that is a personal struggle of mine.) Bring us to the place of seeing hospitality as a way to point others to You. In Your Son's glorious name, Amen.

The Lost Art of Letter Writing

Several months ago, I borrowed a delightful little book from my dear friend Carmen called The Lost Arts of Modern Civilization. This little book was such a gem to me!

One of my favorite chapters was the chapter on the lost art of letter writing. Do you all even remember how to mail a handwritten letter to a dear friend or family member? Today it's all about email and facebook and text messaging.

Do you remember the days when you would open the mailbox and find a letter with your address handprinted on the envelope? Do you remember how excited that made you feel? I know I do! It's extremely rare to find one of those nowadays, isn't it? And when we do get one, it's so exciting!

This chapter on letter-writing discussed the importance of getting back to the roots of communication. And it really made me think about how good I could make others feel just by taking the time to jot down a few thoughts on paper rather than computer screen and send it in the mail rather than over the information superhighway.

There is a dear woman that attends church where we attend, and she always writes personal little notes in our Christmas cards to our family. Knowing that she took the time to personalize our card means so much to us. In fact, her card this past Christmas was so encouraging that I have had it pinned to my bulletin board for daily encouragment.

And so I've been trying to practice this lost art more frequently. My first letter was to my wonderful friend, Carmen, since she was the one who loaned the book to me and since she is my dearest friend. And how overjoyed I was when I received one back from her a week or so later. And granted, we only live a stone-throw away from one another! :)

So, I challenge you ladies to think of someone whom you could bless with a handwritten letter. Go ahead and do it, and I think you'll find much enjoyment in it! And just think of how special and blessed the recipient will feel!

Now I'm on the lookout for some pretty stationary. It's hard to find these days!

Have a blessed day!

A Great Hospitality Book...

I love reading books on the topic of hospitality. Probably because I LOVE providing hospitality. However, I will admit that sometimes I get so wrapped up in trying to impress that I tend to forget the Biblical reason for why I'm to show hospitality.




That's where this book comes in. This book has both convicted me and inspired me greatly! This book offers some wonderful tips on offering hospitality from a Biblical perspective.


I've included some of the chapter titles just so you can get a taste of what this book is about:


Family First
Cleaning and Clutter, Dustballs and Dirt
The Myth of the Too Small House
Decorating on a Shoestring
Sure, Stay for Supper!
Hospitality on the Road
And more!


I'm definitely not getting paid for this little advertisement, but I know a good book when I read one! And I definitely think this is an excellent book to provide a well-rounded approach to Biblical hospitality. I've definitely been motivated, and I think that it can be a big help to other Christian women out there. That's why I'm sharing it!


Here's an excerpt from the back cover of the book: "A Life That Says Welcome helps you make others feel refreshed, rather than impressed, in your presence." Sigh. That's what I want. I want my presence to make others comfortable and refreshed.


Go here to see the book and reviews. A Life That Says Welcome - by Karen Ehman