a seed...

I couldn't imagine life without a few certain things, one of those being a garden. 

This is how I love to spend my mornings. After Brad leaves for work, I brew myself a cup of coffee, slip on my rubber boots and a sweater and head out to the garden. I tend to my plants, watering, weeding, loving on them. Each day, I observe their growth, appreciating each plant that will be feeding our little family very soon. 

The green of the leaves, the tendrils wrapping around the trellises, the smell of the basil and tomato plants, the way the dirt splashes on the sides of the beds when I water. All of these things are noticed and swallowed deep.  They feed my soul. They fill my God-given need for nature and beauty. 

A seed is planted and cared for, and then it bursts open beneath the ground. It bursts from within the boundaries of its dead, hardened shell, and new life pushes its way up from beneath the dirt and soil. What once was dead is now alive.

So it has been with my life. This is how I have been changed. It is a process. I have died to my own selfish pursuits so that I can grow through Christ. First I must die so that I can grow and florish. Such an upside-down way of thinking. 

But won't I be miserable if I deny myself? Oh, but this is where it really becomes topsy-turvy. My heart is filled anew with lasting joy, with contentment, with a treasure of the knowledge of all of the good things I have received. My eyes are suddenly wide open and capable of seeing things which had not previously been seen.  

And the heart knows that this is best. It is full. It has been filled with the treasure of God, the gift of His Son. And this is best.  

thursday morning

 (Eastern Bluebird pictures taken by Ian)

 By this time, it's mid-morning on Thursday. Lily has spent most of the morning sketching animals, using a You Can Draw Animals book she found on her Kindle. Ian has spent the morning looking through seed catalogs and playing with the dogs. I have spent the morning trying to work up the energy and motivation to attack the day. 

I have finally succumbed to this darn cold that I was so adamant in fighting off. 

So we'll get our grammar, math, and reading in this morning, and we will probably do some Netflix homeschooling after that. So many documentaries on there.  Good for a day like today when I'm feeling like going back to bed.

It has been a beautiful morning here in Western PA. Very cold, but beautiful. We have awesome views of the sunrises and sunsets up here on this windy knoll we live on. And this morning, the sun was actually out and the snow was glistening and glimmering. It was a sight. 

And we're warm here in our cozy little house, and I'm so thankful for that. I'm so thankful for my husband who faithfully works hard so that I can be here at home raising our kids. I remember my working days, and I don't miss those days at all. 

I spent time this morning really watching my kids, really soaking their personalities in, really seeing who they are growing up to be. Did you ever do that? Most of the time, I'm just going with the flow and too many times, I'm on autopilot. I read something this morning about a family that lost their 13-year-old son to an undiagnosed heart condition. It was completely unexpected and sudden. And as I watched videos of him in the days right before his death, I noticed how much he reminded me of Ian. You know, those awkward early teen things that boys do? I feel like that was a bit of a wake up call to me. Amber! Be more present! Cherish every single moment that God gives you with your husband and kids. 

Anyway, all of that has kept me quite introspective this morning. 

I want to live my life as God made me to live it. Free and full. Aware of the many, many gifts He has given me, given our family. Faithful to my calling as a wife and mother. 

God is good. He is faithful. He is the provider. He is Savior. 

I am so thankful for His presence in my life.

 
 Knitted Hat is The Vermonter (minus the purl rounds and the pom-pom)