Wednesday, January 25, 2012

How to Squelch the Mean Mommy...

This is turning out to be a busy week, packed full with appointments, obligations, etc. With one kid sick and whiny and the other already serving a time-out in the corner, I felt myself getting stressed.

I'm sure you've been there ~ I'm standing at the kitchen counter, buttering toast, I have one kid crying because she doesn't feel good and the other giving me attitude because he doesn't want to do his chores and get the day started. And I could feel it. The frustration welling up inside. The anger. The "I'm getting ready to spew mean words" feeling.

I mean it was right there. All ready to come pouring out like red-hot lava. And in that same instant, I began to feel overwhelmed. And it's only 7:30 in the morning. But I have a busy day, and I don't feel like dealing with a whiny child. And I want immediate obedience. I should have immediate obedience. Why can't my children just always act in respect and obedience?????!!!!!!

And then I hear God's small still voice, reminding me of what I read and prayed about in my quiet time this morning. I MUST walk in the Spirit.

Penned in my journal just this morning (oh, how He knew I would need this today...)

"Father, fill me up with Your Holy Spirit. I don't ever want to walk in the flesh. I want to walk in the power of Your Spirit.

Give me an extra measure of Your Spirit as I fulfill my calling as a wife, mother, and homemaker. Father, I know my tendency to complain and grumble in my soul occurs way too frequently. Father, I pray that that tendency would be suffocated by the indwelling powerful presence of the Holy Spirit in my life."

And so, the reminder from Him lit up in my mind, and instead of spouting out the fountain of ugliness and hurtful words, I (as calmly as I could possibly muster) disciplined my disobedient son, finished buttering the toast for the sick little one, and then discussed with the first child why it is important that he learns not to be disrespectful and disobedient.

And so I did okay this morning. But, boy, have I failed in the past, and I know there will be more failures in the future. But my prayer, each morning, is that I would be empowered by the Holy Spirit so that I can fully fulfill my calling as a wife, mother, and keeper of our home.

(Pictures of the two younger kids and I sometime in spring of 2008)

Because life as a homeschooling mom (life as a mom, in general) is busy and tough, but I really believe that I, that you, could be so much more, live in so much more victory, if we just asked Him. Asked Him to fill us to overflowing with His Holy Spirit. Because the key to victory in the believer's life is dependence on the Holy Spirit. And my personal prayer for myself is that I would depend fully upon Him.

Have a blessed Wednesday!


Tasha said...

This has been such a heart issue for me. It's so funny, I posted about this this morning too!
If there is one thing I know for sure, it's that God's going to test us in what we've asked for not long after we've asked for it! And like you said, I continue to fail this one. But I'm working on it!

Laura said...

I am learning too how I have to prayerfully be dependent all day long with His help to keep walking by the Spirit!

Masumi said...

I try so hard, but these days, I feel like I am the mean mommy every day. I pray for patience and the softness of heart that is necessary to be a good mother, but man, is it hard or what?!!! Thank you for reminding me that I'm not the only one struggling and turning to Him for help!

Unknown said...

I have so been there a million times. In fact this morning I dealt with it. I had had a bad situation with the X last night that started again this morning via text. And immediately I felt already in a sour mood when I woke up. The kids felt the frustration from their own point of view and it coulda been a disaster day. I saw the warning signals first though and have spent much time in prayer today and stepping lightly not to let it develop. Added in some extra fun stuff - even though my energy is not here today - I knew we needed it.
Sometimes acknowledging how we feel, we can nip it before it happens. And other times... well I fail many many times. Thankfully I have grace from God and my kids. :) :) :)

Heather said...

This was an uplifting post for me, and so nice to hear another mom talking about such issues.

My 11 month old found her lungs and is in that "screech owl" stage, so I hear high pitched screaming almost constantly during the day when she's awake. My 3-year-old, to compete, mimics her little sister immediately afterward. It can be high stress when I'm trying to concentrate!

In fact, two days ago I lost it in the car, after listening to it nearly all day--I had heard my final high pitched scream. I felt like I couldn't take another millisecond of it. I whipped around and barked some pretty loud words at both of them. It was not pretty...

Of course, then they were quiet (because they were scared, I'm sure), but I felt like a total failure and meanie.

So your post is a welcome reminder that I have someone (God) to ask for help from when it comes to these situations. Because I really hate messing up and setting that sort of horrible example for my kids. Thanks for sharing :)