And then God started revealing His plan for my life as I began to seek it more actively. His plan included switching not only majors but colleges. I'll never forget my biology teachers' response when he found out about my change in majors. "That won't challenge you enough." I remember feeling so disappointed because I had disappointed him with my decision. That's what happens when you seek to please people ~ disappointment and feelings of failure.
And then eventually, after working as a nurse for seven years, God laid it upon the heart of my dear husband the divine plans He had in the works for our family. I can remember it clear as day. I was standing in front of the oven making dinner, stressed over the new job change and being away from the kids. And then he said it: "I think you should just quit working altogether and stay at home." I remember feeling that weight lift on my chest. And I could breath.
Why? Because when Brad and I first got married, I knew deep down that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mommy someday. But Brad had big, big doubts that that would ever be able to financially happen. And so I gave it to God. For seven years I worked and missed out on some things with my kids, but God always blessed me during that time.
And now I can testify that God truly does give His children the desires of their hearts as long as those desires align with His good and perfect Will. He loves us, and He wants us to find joy in our lives. He wants to bless us in our obedience to Him.
I've been blessed to be at home with my children for four years now, and I thank God for every moment. And, yes, sometimes my perspective gets skewed and my priorities can sometimes become misaligned, but what an honor it is to be serving God by serving my family, my husband, my children. And what a blessing it is that God uses this jar of clay that I am, even though I don't have it near all together or sometimes have no idea what I'm doing! But that's why He uses the weak and the imperfect to accomplish the important ~ so that He can be given the glory, not man.
And I want to encourage all of you beautiful women who sometimes feel like your job as a mom and wife is second-rate, to remember how important you are, how your job as a mother is an investment in the future. This isn't just a temporary investment. This mothering thing is so much bigger than that. And we need to realize how much power and impact we as mothers have on our family and on our children both now in the present and also in the future.
So I anticipate more struggles and mess-ups and frustrations in the future, but I do know that if I can just keep my eyes focused on my purpose as a wife and mother, to glorify God and to raise my children in His ways, then the view isn't quite as foggy. And my goal right now is to be the wife and mother that God designed me to be. And I can only get there by abiding in Him moment by moment, frustration by frustration, worry by worry, day by day.
I pray that we would all be encouraged in our roles as wives and mothers. I pray that we would all be reminded of how important this calling is, that we are shaping the future in how we raise our children. Being a mother is THE most important job in the world.