I have Ian at Children's Hospital for a 24 hour inpatient video EEG. He was extremely anxious about it for the last several weeks. We've been covering our little boy in prayer, and he has done excellent today. He even told me that he was having fun. He likes that they just bring the food, and I don't have to make anything. What a sweetheart. Yeah. I like that a lot too! I just got him to sleep and now here I sit.
Life goes on. Sometimes rough. Sometimes smooth. But I'm coming to realize that no matter who you are, there's always something. Sometimes I look longingly at others and think that they look so content and perfect. "They have this crazy thing called life all figured out," I think.
But don't we all have things in our life that we must deal with? Don't we all have issues and questions and hardships and fears and worries? I think of the young boy in the room next to us. He's wheelchair bound and unable to speak. The nurses have to go in and reposition him. He's having the same test done as Ian. And then I realize that even though I don't like that there's something going on with Ian, he is still in good health otherwise.
And I wonder if I could handle what the mom in the next room has to handle. Seeing my child helpless and totally dependent on others. How would I deal with that? And then there's the little one-year old on the elevator being pushed in her stroller by her young mom and dad. The one-year old with a trach and a smile. And again I wonder. How does that young couple do it? How do they find the strength to keep their heads up? Where do they find that courage? Is it a matter of necessity or does it come from someplace bigger?
At times the fragility of life scares me. Sometimes the what-ifs totally overwhelm me. Sometimes it's hard to pull the TRUTH out and really practice it. Trust. Not in myself. Not in any other human being. Trust in my Father. All I know is that fear is suffocating.
I'm learning all about this trust thing. It's been a long, hard lesson, and maybe I'll share the extent of it someday, but God's been telling me over and over through it all that He works all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. In my mind's eye, those words sometimes feel like vapor, unable to be grasped, but I must cling to that promise. I must.
And so I lift prayers up for all of you sisters out there who have struggles, fears, anxieties, tribulations. I'm feeling a burden for all the many women who think that they are alone in their struggles. I pray that those same struggles that bring you to your knees may produce growth and fruit. That you may come to trust Him fully. That all your trials will be worked for good so that our Father will be glorified.
The body of Christ is one. Parts separated by mountains and seas, but never in Spirit. Always one in Spirit under the headship of our King. Blessings to you.
7 comments:
I am so sorry to here Ian & your family are going threw this. I will lift you all up in prayer to our Lord & Savior. May all be worked out for the glory of God. Your post has really hit home for me in the words you have shared. Of late I have struggled with fear & thinking I am not normal with all the many trials I am facing & others are normal. Keep the faith. Blessings!
"Sometimes I look longingly at others and think that they look so content and perfect. "They have this crazy thing called life all figured out," I think." -- I've thought the same thing myself... I think even a couple times about YOU while reading your blog. :-) But you're right, we do all have our own struggles...
Then you said this,
"At times the fragility of life scares me. Sometimes the what-ifs totally overwhelm me. Sometimes it's hard to pull the TRUTH out and really practice it. Trust. Not in myself. Not in any other human being. Trust in my Father. All I know is that fear is suffocating. "
And I feel like you stole those words out of my mouth. This post really hit close to home for me, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I'll keep you & your family in my prayers, too. Hope Ian is ok! He looks pretty cheerful in that picture though :-)
You are right that we all have struggles. Some are a little bigger then our neighbors or a little bit more noticeable, but they are still there. Hold on to the promise that He has a plan for Ian and your family! Praying for you my friend.
Praying for you and your family.
So true Amber - we all have our giants to face - thanks for a great post - will keep you all in our prayers. Ian certainly looks cheerful in the photo - bless him!!
I have been that Mama at that bedside so many,many times before with my daughter, and I can say that I know exactly how you feel. It is a hard place for a Mama to be, so I will be remembering you in prayer. Please keep us posted. So glad he is in good spirits, sometimes we just had to find the little things to laugh at, and still do. Praying for you and your little one. Jackie
Of course as you conclude, each one truly has their own Pain. I can so relate to what you said. I will be praying for you and your son, and your family. So sorry to hear about your struggles. Life is so hard, but the Lord is faithful as you have said.
Much love, and Many blessings sweetie,
Pam
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