an essay on home

I love home. 

What does home mean to me? What image do I conjure up in my mind when I think of home? 

I imagine a cozy, quaint place that is warm, beautiful but simple. A place where love flows freely. A place where words of encouragement are spoken and life is breathed into those who enter. 

I imagine a place where the dwellers feel free to be themselves. Guards can be dropped. Feet can be kicked back. Weary bodies can toss themselves onto the sofa and cozy up under a well-worn quilt. 

A place where laughter is real. Where learning happens all of the time. Where good thoughts are shared and discussed. Where life is lived fully and where joy prevails.

This is what I strive for, this is what I want for our home. And me, as a wife and mother, well, I have such an awesome opportunity to influence the atmosphere of our home. This is my office. This is my place of work. This is my opportunity to shine as I foster an environment that encourages growth physically, mentally, and spiritually for my family and all who visit. 

What an awesome privilege that is! 

So instead of complaining about the never-ending laundry, I need to thank God for the healthy bodies that wear all of that clothing.

Instead of dreading washing the dishes again, I need to praise God for the food He has so graciously and extravagantly provided. The food that fills those plates three times a day, that fills our bellies full. 

And the messes that scatter so easily around the house? Oh those can test me. But those little messes were made by the ones that are dearest to my heart. I want to be thankful that I have these beautiful children who are healthy enough to be up and making messes. And I need to be thankful that I have the opportunity to teach my children to be responsible, clean-up after themselves, and contribute to our home's well-being. 

I enjoy home. I enjoy keeping my home. I used to think that it was sinful to want a beautiful home (note that I do not mean large, filled with extravagant things, or magazine-worthy) for my family. But I now realize that God put that creative desire within me, that love for beauty, the attention to the aesthetics. God made me that way. And, of course, I could use those desires in sinful ways, but I can also choose to embrace them and make my home a dwelling that quenches the thirst of dry souls, that replenishes the spiritual tanks of those who enter, that inspires others to seek the beautiful and simple things of God. 

I am so thankful that God has enabled me to be a keeper of my home. I am thankful that He has shown me the importance of making our home a shelter to my family and others.

Lord, open my eyes up to the great privilege You have blessed me with to be a keeper of our home. Thank you for our home. Thank you for those that fill it. May it be used for Your glory, and may all who enter feel surrounded by Your love and grace.

these january days

I love photos. You wouldn't know it if you came to visit me at our home. I think I have one actual photograph hanging on our wall, and it's a photo of our family when there was only four of us and Lily was about two. In fact, one of my friends used to make fun of my lack of photos considering how often I have my camera in my hand. I just don't know.

However, I do have many, many photo albums, and it's always a delight to look back through the years and see how the kids have grown and the things we have done. I'm always so happy when I receive our annual Shutterfly book. It makes the hours of organizing it online worth it - when we have that finished picture book of our previous year.

I also find myself simply enthralled by others' photos. Admittedly, the photos on blogs are what draw me to certain blogs. I love the capturing of each moment. I love to see the story of others' lives played out in photos. There are times that I have found myself just studying particular photos, taking in the light, the shadows, the details. I think it's the right side of my brain that pulls me into the artistic aspect of photographs. 

When I worked as a visiting nurse (in my former life, pre-homeschooling), I vividly and clearly recollect an elderly woman that I had to visit to draw blood. She lived in an old apartment building, in a tiny little efficiency apartment. She was so frail, so fragile looking. She had her oxygen on, coursing into her old lungs the necessary substance of life, and I helped her onto her sofa and prepared to draw her blood. As I was pulling out the needle and the bottles, I glanced at the wall behind me. 

There she was. Sitting in the typical 20's style restaurant that you would imagine. The tufted booth (I imagined it red) and many photos on the wall behind her. It looked like it would have been a lively place. She had dark, dark hair and dark lips. Her hair was styled in a wavy bob, and beside her sat a handsome gentleman with slicked back dark hair, looking very dapper in his suit. Huge smiles on the faces of both. In the prime years of their life, probably around the same age that I was that day as I sat there on her sofa getting ready to draw her labs. 

It just struck me and struck me hard. The life she had. Her husband. Her children. What did she do in her spare time? How did she spend her days as she lived her life, growing older each day? 

Gosh. This poor, fragile woman once lived a vibrant, full life. She faced many of the same problems and complications that life was going to bring to me, to anyone who is alive. 

Though I don't remember her name, I can still see her face. The photo on her wall was burnt into the hard drive of my memory. It was such a vivid reminder to me to live each day, to live each day of this short life fully, and to be thankful for the blessings from God. 

So I think that's partially why I love photographs. They capture those moments in time. They capture faces and places and adventures and sometimes even awkwardness (I have some REALLY awkward photos from junior high dances) and fears. 

That, my friends, is why I read through photos. I do love words. Words enrich the mind and the life, but photos speak to my soul. And so I capture the simple moments of our mostly simple life in photos. That's why I do it. And that's why I share those photos here. 

And this post? Whoa, an overload of photos in this post, eh?  

We've had the sickies in our home over the past week or so. This is actually the first annoying sickness we've had so far this winter so I'm thankful for that. 

I made a big turkey dinner this past Saturday, and with the leftover carcass, I made bone broth. Have you ever made bone broth? I make it anytime I can. It's easy, especially if you do it in the crockpot like I do. There's no worrying about watching the stove-top fire when you use the crockpot. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about (bone broth????), go here and read.)

It turned out that I needed that bone broth sooner than I thought. My intention was to freeze it and use it in a few weeks. Then Ian woke up with a sore throat and cough on Monday, and so, last night that nutritionally-packed bone broth was used as the base for turkey soup. You really should consider making it. It's packed full of nutrients, and it tastes so much richer and fuller than regular old meat broth.

Hmmm. What else is going on here? Well, we are doing some small renovations. We painted the entryway and installed some new lighting a couple of weekends ago, and then this past weekend, Brad and I tackled the hall bathroom. Painted the walls, ripped up the flooring and replaced it, painted the vanity, and we are working on replacing the trim. So we've basically been living with the contents from various rooms in our living room. I've attempted to put everything as much out of the way as possible, and when I cringe as I walk past the piles I try to remind myself of how nice everything will look once it's all done. How do people live through kitchen renovations? Oh my. Well, I suppose we'll find that out in a few years or so when we tackle that huge project.

I forced myself to go down into my studio earlier today and clean it. It's been a mess since our open house back in December. I cleaned it partially sometime after that, but I've been busy with a fundraiser which wrecked it even more. But with all of that mostly behind me now, I managed to put everything mostly back to normal. Gosh, do I love having things cleaned and spaces cleared. A clear space clears my mind. 

I think it's been a long time since I posted about our little hobby farm. We still have rabbits, alpacas, the goats, and lots of chickens. And, of course, there are the two spoiled dogs who are pampered in the house.

I'm really regretting not breeding the goats this past fall. I really want some baby goats. Gosh, they are unbelievably cute, fun, and mischievous. Next year, I'm really going to work on that, breeding them. The problem is that I don't really know of anyone local that has a male Nubian goat that we could borrow. And I'm very hesitant to purchase a buck because I've heard from numerous people that they are extremely stinky animals, and I'm not sure what level of stinkiness I'm willing to deal with. We've already got a fair amount of stinkiness with all of the manure. Hmmm. 

So this very random, all-over-the-place blog post just filled you in on the last week of my life. Thanks for all of your comments. I've really been enjoying reading them, and I've really enjoyed allotting myself time each day to read everyone's blogs once again.